Q&A Jokes

Hang on

Q: What did Wednesday say to Thursday?
A: “Hang on, Friday is almost here!”

What do you get?

Q: If you have a sphere and you shake it, what do you get?
A: Shakespeare.

Classic Comeback

Q: Guess what?
A: Chicken butt! 😄🐔

Light Bulb

Q: How many executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A roomful – they have to hold a meeting to discuss all the ramifications of the change.💡💡💡

Midweek Merriment

Q: Why did Wednesday get a promotion?
A: Because it’s in the middle of the “weak” and still works hard! 😄📅

High-Speed Humor

Q: Why don’t Ferraris ever get lost?
A: Because they always take the fast lane in life! 🏎️💨😄

Change a light bulb

Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None. That’s a hardware issue.

World Wide Web

Q. Why did the spider cross the computer keyboard?

A. To get on the World Wide Web.

Why did the photo go to jail?

Why did the photo go to jail?

Because it was framed!

Jokes from Outer Space

Q: Why did the sun go to school?
A: To get a little brighter.

Q: How do you organize a space party?
A: You planet.

Q: Why did the moon skip dinner?
A: It was full.

Math-terpieces

Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had too many problems.

Q: Why did the number 7 eat number 9?
A: Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!

Q: Why was the equal sign so humble?
A: Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.

Puns from the Wild

Q: Why don’t some animals play cards in the wild?
A: Because they are afraid of cheetahs.

Q: What do you call a fish without eyes?
A: Fsh!

Q: Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
A: Because they are shellfish.

The right taste

Q: Why didn’t the shark eat the clown?
A: Because he tasted funny!

Tennessee

Q: What did Tennessee?
A: The same thing that Arkansas!

Cat Food

Q: What do cats like to eat?
A: Mice cream!

28 days

Q: How many months have 28 days?
A: All of them!

Blonde Jokes

Q: a blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: “six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.”

Q: but why do brunettes take the pill ?
A: wishful thinking.

Q: did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: she missed the earth!

Q: did you hear about the blond that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds?
A: she tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord.

Q: did you hear about the blond with a masters degree in psychology?
A: she’ll blow your mind, too.

Q: did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: they went to see “closed for the winter”.

Q: did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: did you hear about the blonde doctor?
A: she shaved her patients, then took off their clothes.

Q: did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: she kept having affairs with men!

Q: did you hear about the blonde that almost caused a wreck?
A: the spare tire in her trunk blew out.

Q: did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank?
A: she tied up the safe and blew the guard.

Q: did you hear about the blonde who had an appendix operation?
A: well, now she is making money on the side.

Q: did you hear about the blonde who just bought an a.m. Radio?
A: it took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

Q: did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror With her eyes closed?
A: she wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

Q: did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her Husband’s car?
A: she burned her lips on the tailpipe.

Q: did you hear about the blonde whose boyfriend said he loved her?
A: she believed him.

Q: did you hear about the conceited blonde?
A: she screams her own name when she comes.

Q: did you hear about the new epidemic among blondes?
A: it’s called maids – if the don’t get one, they die.

Q: did you hear about the new form of birth control for blondes?
A: they take off their makeup.

Q: did you hear about the new slogan for miss clairol’s hair dye?
A: buy a double batch and get a snatch to match.

Q: did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: she missed.

Q: do you know why the blonde got fired from the m&m; factory?
A: for throwing out the w’s.

Q: how can you tell a blonde had a bad day?
A: her tampon is behind her ear and she doesn’t know what she did with her cigarette.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?
A: by the chipped tooth.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: by the lipstick on your cucumbers.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: she gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: a bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the Bosses’ faces.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: she has a checkbook.

Q: how can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: by the buckle print on her forehead.

Q: how can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde?
A: there is a stamp on it.

Q: how can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: she is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering What she did with her pencil.

Q: how did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: she fell out of the tree.

Q: how did the blonde burn her nose?
A: bobbing for french fries.

Q: how did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: the cow fell on her.

Q: how did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: she was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q: how did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: she threw it off a cliff.

Q: how do blonde brain cells die?
A: alone.

Q: how do you brainwash a blonde?
A: give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Q: how do you change a blonde’s mind?
A: blow in her ear, or
buy her another beer.

Q: how do you confuse a blonde?
A: you don’t. They’re born that way.

Q: how do you confuse a blonde?
A: ask her to alphabetize a bag of m&ms.

Q: how do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: flattered.

Q: how do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.

Q: how do you drown a blond?
A: put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: don’t tell her to swallow.
A3: leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: how do you get a blonde off of your knees?
A: come.

Q: how do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

Q: how do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: tell her she’s pregnant.

A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks “where did you get that?”

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks “where did you get that?”
A: The pig says, “i won her in a raffle!”

A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?

Q: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
A: A:It is the one with the kickstand.

What flower is in between your nose and your chin?

Q: What flower is in between your nose and your chin?
A: Two lips!

How do you confuse a stupid person?

Q: How do you confuse a stupid person?
A: Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

Brainwash

Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.

What stops then goes then stops then goes?

Q: What stops then goes then stops then goes?
A: A blonde at a blinking red light.

What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

A: The lawyer charges more.

What’s the difference between a rotwieler and a poodle?

Q: What’s the difference between a rotwieler and a poodle?

A: If a rotwieler starts humping your leg you let it finish.

Blonde basement

Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?

A: A whine cellar.

Raven and Dog

Q: What do you get when you cross a raven with a mad dog?

A: A ravin lunatic.

Hide and Seek

Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.

Why did the blonde purchase AM radio?

Q: Why did the blonde purchase an AM radio?
A: She didn’t want one for nights.

What does a lion call a antelope?

Q: What does a lion call a antelope?

A: Fast food.

How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?

Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can’t get a finger between the rope and his neck!

Blondes and Waterskiing

Why can you not teach blondes to waterski?

When they get wet, they roll over on their backs!

Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears?

Q: Why do blondes always rapidly flap their hands towards theirs ears?

A: They’re refuelling.

Who keeps the ocean clean?

Q: Who keeps the ocean clean?
A: The mermaid.

Why did the invisible man turn down a job offer?

Q: Why did the invisible man turn down a job offer?

A: He just couldn’t see himself doing it.

What is a baby’s favorite reptile?

Q: What is a baby’s favorite reptile?

A: A rattlesnake.

What do you call a snowman in the summer?

Q: What do you call a snowman in the summer?

A: A puddle.

What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?

Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?

A: Her ankles.

Beer bottle

Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common?

A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

How do you tell?

Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, “Next”.
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.

How do you stop a fish from smelling?

Q: How do you stop a fish from smelling?

A: Cut it’s nose off.

What is the fastest fish in the sea?

Q: What is the fastest fish in the sea?
A: Go-carp.

What is yellow and dangerous?

Q: What is yellow and dangerous?

A: Pike infested custard.

Lightbulb to the fuse

Q: What did the lightbulb say to the fuse ?

A: That’s a blow!

Pregnant

Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?

A: With any luck, right after he finishes school.

Miss Right

Q: I married Miss Right.

A: I just didn’t know her first name was “Always”.

Wife & Job

Q: What’s the difference between your wife and your job?

A: After five years your job still sucks.

Grey, yellow

Q: What’s grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow?

A: An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!

What do you call a sheep with no legs?

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?

A: A cloud.

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Q: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

A: Claustrophobic.

Why is “U” the happiest letter?

Q: Why is “U” the happiest letter?

A: Because it is in the middle of “fun”.

Cow Disease

Q: Why can’t men get mad cow disease?

A: Because they’re pigs.

What do you call a blonde that goes to college?

Q: What do you call a blonde that goes to college?

A: A Visitor!

Light bulb

Q: How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One hundred. One to change it, and ninety-nine to stand around and say, “Hey, I could’ve done that!”

Grenade

Q: What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run! She’s got a grenade in her mouth!

How many men does it take to open a beer?

Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?

A: None. It should be opened when she brings it.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

A: When she starts a sentence with “A man once told me…”

How do you fix a woman’s watch?

Q: How do you fix a woman’s watch?

A: You don’t. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men die before their wives?

Q: Why do men die before their wives?

A: They want to.

What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?

Q: What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?

A: The wrong answer.

Why are blondes like cornflakes

Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes?

A: Because they’re simple, easy and they taste good.

Where do snowmen go to dance?

Q: Where do snowmen go to dance? ⛄

A: Snowballs. 🎉❄️⚪

Black, white, black, white, black, white

Q: What goes black white, black, white, black, white?

A: A Penguin rolling down a hill!

The Parrot Joke

Q: What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?

A: A carrot!

Blind Fish

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

A: “Dam!”

Cow

Q: What do you call a cow with two legs?

A: Lean beef.

Cow 2

Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?

A: Ground beef.

Flies Have Wings, Why?

Q: Do you know why flies have wings?

A: So they can beat the hicks to the watermelon.

How can you tell a drummer’s at the door?

Q: How can you tell a drummer’s at the door?

A: The knocking speeds up.

Why did the pig go into the kitchen?

Q: Why did the pig go into the kitchen?

A: He felt like bacon.

What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day?

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine’s Day?

A: Forget-me-nuts.

What did the valentine card say to the stamp?

Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp?

A: Stick with me and we’ll go places!

Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed, “guess who”?

Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed’, guess who’?

A: A divorce lawyer.

A 100 dollar bill

Q:Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it??

A: No one the first four dont exsist and the other blonde thought it was a gumwraper!

Dictionary or octopus?

Q: What do man and women have when they do work on the bed?

A: A dicktionary and an octopussy.

Basketball and sex

Q: What is the different between a basketball and a sex?

A: The basketball dribble first then shoot while the sex shoot first then dribble…

How do blonde brain cells die?

Q: How do blonde brain cells die?

A: Alone.

Hemophiliac and Virgin

Q: What do a hemophiliac and a virgin have in common?
A: One prick and they’re done.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

Q: Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

A: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

What is Fast Food?

Q: What is Fast Food?

A: A chicken running down the road.

Golf Balls and G-Spots

What’s the difference between a girl’s G-spot and a golf ball?

A man will spend hours looking for the golf ball!

What’s brown and sticky?

Q: What’s brown and sticky?

A: A stick.

Why are pirates called pirates?

Q: Why are pirates called pirates?

A: Because they aaarrreee!

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Q: What did one plate say to the other plate?

A: He said, “Lunch is on me!”

What is green and smells?

Hulk’s fart.

Eggcellent Laughs What do you get?

Q&A Jokes That Will Leave You Asking for More

Q&A jokes are simple, back-and-forth style jokes where a question is asked and then answered with a funny or unexpected twist. They’re straightforward and often rely on puns or wordplay. For example, a joke might ask, “What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?” The answer is, “Frostbite!” Another example could be, “Why don’t we ever tell secrets on a farm?” with the punchline being, “Because the potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beans stalk.” These jokes are designed to be quick and amusing, perfect for sharing a laugh with friends or family, and they work well because the punchline often comes as a surprise, making them fun and engaging for listeners of all ages.

Here are some of the best Q&A jokes:

Hang on

Q: What did Wednesday say to Thursday?
A: “Hang on, Friday is almost here!”

What do you get?

Q: If you have a sphere and you shake it, what do you get?
A: Shakespeare.

Classic Comeback

Q: Guess what?
A: Chicken butt! 😄🐔

Light Bulb

Q: How many executives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: A roomful – they have to hold a meeting to discuss all the ramifications of the change.💡💡💡

Hilarious Shorts

Midweek Merriment

Q: Why did Wednesday get a promotion?
A: Because it’s in the middle of the “weak” and still works hard! 😄📅

High-Speed Humor

Q: Why don’t Ferraris ever get lost?
A: Because they always take the fast lane in life! 🏎️💨😄

Change a light bulb

Q. How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None. That’s a hardware issue.

World Wide Web

Q. Why did the spider cross the computer keyboard?

A. To get on the World Wide Web.

Why did the photo go to jail?

Why did the photo go to jail?

Because it was framed!

Jokes from Outer Space

Q: Why did the sun go to school?
A: To get a little brighter.

Q: How do you organize a space party?
A: You planet.

Q: Why did the moon skip dinner?
A: It was full.

Math-terpieces

Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: Because it had too many problems.

Q: Why did the number 7 eat number 9?
A: Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!

Q: Why was the equal sign so humble?
A: Because it knew it wasn’t less than or greater than anyone else.

Puns from the Wild

Q: Why don’t some animals play cards in the wild?
A: Because they are afraid of cheetahs.

Q: What do you call a fish without eyes?
A: Fsh!

Q: Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
A: Because they are shellfish.

The right taste

Q: Why didn’t the shark eat the clown?
A: Because he tasted funny!

Tennessee

Q: What did Tennessee?
A: The same thing that Arkansas!

Cat Food

Q: What do cats like to eat?
A: Mice cream!

28 days

Q: How many months have 28 days?
A: All of them!

Blonde Jokes

Q: a blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: “six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces.”

Q: but why do brunettes take the pill ?
A: wishful thinking.

Q: did you hear about the blond skydiver?
A: she missed the earth!

Q: did you hear about the blond that was treated at the emergency room for a concussion and severe head wounds?
A: she tried to commit suicide by hanging herself with a bungie cord.

Q: did you hear about the blond with a masters degree in psychology?
A: she’ll blow your mind, too.

Q: did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: they went to see “closed for the winter”.

Q: did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: did you hear about the blonde doctor?
A: she shaved her patients, then took off their clothes.

Q: did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: she kept having affairs with men!

Q: did you hear about the blonde that almost caused a wreck?
A: the spare tire in her trunk blew out.

Q: did you hear about the blonde that robbed a bank?
A: she tied up the safe and blew the guard.

Q: did you hear about the blonde who had an appendix operation?
A: well, now she is making money on the side.

Q: did you hear about the blonde who just bought an a.m. Radio?
A: it took her two weeks to figure out that you could play it at night.

Q: did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror With her eyes closed?
A: she wanted to see what she looked like asleep.

Q: did you hear about the blonde who tried to blow up her Husband’s car?
A: she burned her lips on the tailpipe.

Q: did you hear about the blonde whose boyfriend said he loved her?
A: she believed him.

Q: did you hear about the conceited blonde?
A: she screams her own name when she comes.

Q: did you hear about the new epidemic among blondes?
A: it’s called maids – if the don’t get one, they die.

Q: did you hear about the new form of birth control for blondes?
A: they take off their makeup.

Q: did you hear about the new slogan for miss clairol’s hair dye?
A: buy a double batch and get a snatch to match.

Q: did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: she missed.

Q: do you know why the blonde got fired from the m&m; factory?
A: for throwing out the w’s.

Q: how can you tell a blonde had a bad day?
A: her tampon is behind her ear and she doesn’t know what she did with her cigarette.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde has a vibrator?
A: by the chipped tooth.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A: by the lipstick on your cucumbers.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: she gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A: a bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the Bosses’ faces.

Q: how can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: she has a checkbook.

Q: how can you tell when a blonde is dating?
A: by the buckle print on her forehead.

Q: how can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde?
A: there is a stamp on it.

Q: how can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A: she is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering What she did with her pencil.

Q: how did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A: she fell out of the tree.

Q: how did the blonde burn her nose?
A: bobbing for french fries.

Q: how did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: the cow fell on her.

Q: how did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: she was run over by the zambonis machine.

Q: how did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: she threw it off a cliff.

Q: how do blonde brain cells die?
A: alone.

Q: how do you brainwash a blonde?
A: give her a douche and shake her upside down.

Q: how do you change a blonde’s mind?
A: blow in her ear, or
buy her another beer.

Q: how do you confuse a blonde?
A: you don’t. They’re born that way.

Q: how do you confuse a blonde?
A: ask her to alphabetize a bag of m&ms.

Q: how do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: flattered.

Q: how do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.

Q: how do you drown a blond?
A: put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: don’t tell her to swallow.
A3: leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: how do you get a blonde off of your knees?
A: come.

Q: how do you get a blonde pregnant?
A: come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest.

Q: how do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: tell her she’s pregnant.

A blonde is walking down the street with a pi...

Q: A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm. She passes a person who asks “where did you get that?”
A: The pig says, “i won her in a raffle!”

A blond going to London on a plane, how can y...

Q: A blond going to London on a plane, how can you steal her window seat?
A: Tell her the seats that are going to London are all in the middle row.

How can you tell which tricycle belongs to th...

Q: How can you tell which tricycle belongs to the blonde?
A: A:It is the one with the kickstand.

What flower is in between your nose and your ...

Q: What flower is in between your nose and your chin?
A: Two lips!

How do you confuse a stupid person?

Q: How do you confuse a stupid person?
A: Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

Raven and Dog

Q: What do you get when you cross a raven with a mad dog?

A: A ravin lunatic.

What is yellow and dangerous?

Q: What is yellow and dangerous?

A: Pike infested custard.

Why do men die before their wives?

Q: Why do men die before their wives?

A: They want to.

Dictionary or octopus?

Q: What do man and women have when they do work on the bed?

A: A dicktionary and an octopussy.

Hide and Seek

Q: How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A: One.

Lightbulb to the fuse

Q: What did the lightbulb say to the fuse ?

A: That’s a blow!

What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x ...

Q: What did the dog get when he multiplied 88 x 7?

A: The wrong answer.

Basketball and sex

Q: What is the different between a basketball and a sex?

A: The basketball dribble first then shoot while the sex shoot first then dribble…

Top Jokes