Dracula’s American Headquarters
Where is Dracula’s American office?
The Vampire State Building.
Where is Dracula’s American office?
The Vampire State Building.
You feel scarfs are the worst human accessory ever
You love lieing on a grave at a cemetary at night but hate lieing in the sun at a beach
You are a member of the Six Feet Under Club
You become a non-profit blood importer
You are a grave digger and exchange your coffin for another if you find a nicer one
You are required to give a blood sample but you won’t unless you get one back
For Show and Tell, you let your kids bring in their coffins
As a kid, no one ever wanted to play Tag with you because no one ever tagged you and lived
You have had more than one person try to stab you in the heart with a stake
You go to the beach wearing SPF 500 sun lotion and holding a tent-size umbrella
You are on vacation driving a hearse with an empty coffin in back
You take part in a celebrity boxing match against Buffy The Vampire Slayer
You have ever stolen a bloodmobile
You remember where you were when Count Dracula was declared Count
On dating sites, you are most attracted to women that look like Lily from The Munsters
You like going to social events because you like getting to know the people you are about to kill
You have been chased by angry mobs with torches on more than one ocassion
You are on the dark drink diet
Your favorite place in the world is in a coffin with a view
You are successful Coffin Sales Rep
You go to a funeral home and try to trade your old coffin in for a newer model
You are looking to find blood substitutes to curve your cravings
Your worse nightmare is belonging to a close-knit family made up entirely of vampire hunters
You grew up always wanting to be a fang specialist
The sun makes you break out in… death
Necking is what you consider love-making
You get jealous seeing a leech sucking on a human
You are a gourmet chef who kills anyone who uses garlic in the kitchen
You can’t press the plus (+) button on your keyword because it looks too much like a cross
You always find yourself making a bloody mess at dinnertime
You have nightmares of getting your teeth pulled by a dentist named Buffy
You know more about vampirism than capitalism
Someone says to you “Vampire’s Suck” and you say “Duh, we have to eat too!”
You don’t understand why blood isn’t sold in supermarkets
You wake up screaming from nightmares of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
You call all your girl friends “goons”
Your dream job is to work in the blood department for the Red Cross
You are tracing your family history by comparing bite marks
You defriend someone on Facebook for suggesting getting together at the beach to catch some rays
You open a Bloodbucks cafe to serve the vampire community
On Halloween you get mad at people for dressing up in vampire costumes pretending to be someone they are not
On Halloween you sleep waiting for Dracula to come down the chimney to bring you lots of humans
You start a neck-biting range for vampires to practice their aim
You refuse to date anyone named Buffy
Your idea of a scary movie is watching humans kill the last vampire on earth
Your worse nightmare is waking up to a world without humans
You look at blood the way party-goers look at beer
During winter you are careful not to select people who are too cold to avoid frostbite
You consider coming out of the closet as a vampire at a Twilight premier party
Your class looks to you for ideas on how to dress and act like a vampire
You own a bar that requires a blood sample instead of ID to enter
Someone mentions the word ‘vessel’ and you immediately think of ‘blood vessels’
You notice you can outrun a cheetah
You look at people the same way they look at a buffet
Your friends bring humans as gifts to your birthday party
You grew up receiving gifts on Halloween instead of Christmas
Your party friends look to you to be the designated bottle opener
As a kid you knew more about Count Dracula than you did the Count on Sesame Street
Halloween is the only day of the year you feel you can be yourself
You like a good Bloody Mary from concentrate
You are surprised that you can’t make withdrawals at a blood bank
Your parents wanted you to own a blood bank when you grew up
The first thing you think of when you meet people is what blood type they are
You recently joined Bloodaholics Anonymous
The only bank you want to rob is a blood bank
You are surprised that you can’t make withdrawals at a blood bank
Your parents wanted you to own a blood bank when you grew up
The first thing you think of when you meet people is what blood type they are
You recently joined Bloodaholics Anonymous
The only bank you want to rob is a blood bank
You joined the blood scouts as a kid
You order a Bloody Mary and ask if she is fresh
You open up a blood bank for homeless vampires
Your favorite animal is a giraffe
You do more before 6am than anyone else
You have regular blood baths
You join a bat watching club and participate from time to time
You killed the inventor of the turtleneck
You wonder why books about vampires are not taught in history classes
You ravage through the trash nightly at a blood bank
You cringe when somebody around you orders a steak (stake) at a restaurant
Your desire for food is as big as your desire for a tan
You react to garlic the way kids react to veggies
You order a Bloody Mary with an extra twist of Mary
You stare at a women’s neck more than you do her curves
You are bleeching your teeth once a day
You find bloody noises sexy
You brush, floss and sharpen your teeth daily
You buy a coffin with a night light