You feel scarfs are the worst human accessory ever

You love lieing on a grave at a cemetary at night but hate lieing in the sun at a beach

You are a member of the Six Feet Under Club

You become a non-profit blood importer

You are a grave digger and exchange your coffin for another if you find a nicer one

You are required to give a blood sample but you won’t unless you get one back

For Show and Tell, you let your kids bring in their coffins

As a kid, no one ever wanted to play Tag with you because no one ever tagged you and lived

You have had more than one person try to stab you in the heart with a stake

You go to the beach wearing SPF 500 sun lotion and holding a tent-size umbrella

You are on vacation driving a hearse with an empty coffin in back

You take part in a celebrity boxing match against Buffy The Vampire Slayer

You have ever stolen a bloodmobile

You remember where you were when Count Dracula was declared Count

On dating sites, you are most attracted to women that look like Lily from The Munsters

You like going to social events because you like getting to know the people you are about to kill

You have been chased by angry mobs with torches on more than one ocassion

You are on the dark drink diet

Your favorite place in the world is in a coffin with a view

You are successful Coffin Sales Rep

You go to a funeral home and try to trade your old coffin in for a newer model

You are looking to find blood substitutes to curve your cravings

Your worse nightmare is belonging to a close-knit family made up entirely of vampire hunters

You grew up always wanting to be a fang specialist

The sun makes you break out in… death

Necking is what you consider love-making

You get jealous seeing a leech sucking on a human

You are a gourmet chef who kills anyone who uses garlic in the kitchen

You can’t press the plus (+) button on your keyword because it looks too much like a cross

You always find yourself making a bloody mess at dinnertime

You have nightmares of getting your teeth pulled by a dentist named Buffy

You know more about vampirism than capitalism

Someone says to you “Vampire’s Suck” and you say “Duh, we have to eat too!”

You don’t understand why blood isn’t sold in supermarkets

You wake up screaming from nightmares of Buffy the Vampire Slayer

You call all your girl friends “goons”

Your dream job is to work in the blood department for the Red Cross

You are tracing your family history by comparing bite marks

You defriend someone on Facebook for suggesting getting together at the beach to catch some rays

You open a Bloodbucks cafe to serve the vampire community

On Halloween you get mad at people for dressing up in vampire costumes pretending to be someone they are not

On Halloween you sleep waiting for Dracula to come down the chimney to bring you lots of humans

You start a neck-biting range for vampires to practice their aim

You refuse to date anyone named Buffy

Your idea of a scary movie is watching humans kill the last vampire on earth

Your worse nightmare is waking up to a world without humans

You look at blood the way party-goers look at beer

During winter you are careful not to select people who are too cold to avoid frostbite

You consider coming out of the closet as a vampire at a Twilight premier party

Your class looks to you for ideas on how to dress and act like a vampire

You own a bar that requires a blood sample instead of ID to enter

Someone mentions the word ‘vessel’ and you immediately think of ‘blood vessels’

You notice you can outrun a cheetah

You look at people the same way they look at a buffet

Your friends bring humans as gifts to your birthday party

You grew up receiving gifts on Halloween instead of Christmas

Your party friends look to you to be the designated bottle opener

As a kid you knew more about Count Dracula than you did the Count on Sesame Street

Halloween is the only day of the year you feel you can be yourself

You like a good Bloody Mary from concentrate

You are surprised that you can’t make withdrawals at a blood bank

Your parents wanted you to own a blood bank when you grew up

The first thing you think of when you meet people is what blood type they are

You recently joined Bloodaholics Anonymous

The only bank you want to rob is a blood bank

You are surprised that you can’t make withdrawals at a blood bank

Your parents wanted you to own a blood bank when you grew up

The first thing you think of when you meet people is what blood type they are

You recently joined Bloodaholics Anonymous

The only bank you want to rob is a blood bank

You joined the blood scouts as a kid

You order a Bloody Mary and ask if she is fresh

You open up a blood bank for homeless vampires

Your favorite animal is a giraffe

You do more before 6am than anyone else

You have regular blood baths

You join a bat watching club and participate from time to time

You killed the inventor of the turtleneck

You wonder why books about vampires are not taught in history classes

You ravage through the trash nightly at a blood bank

You cringe when somebody around you orders a steak (stake) at a restaurant

Your desire for food is as big as your desire for a tan

You react to garlic the way kids react to veggies

You order a Bloody Mary with an extra twist of Mary

You stare at a women’s neck more than you do her curves

You are bleeching your teeth once a day

You find bloody noises sexy

You brush, floss and sharpen your teeth daily

You buy a coffin with a night light