Funny Jokes

Wave

Do you know what it’s called when a short person waves to you? A microwave.

What did the tie say to the hat?

What did the tie say to the hat? 👔 🎩

You go on a head and I’ll hang around.

The Ferrari Whisper

What do you call a whisper in a Ferrari showroom?

A horsepower!

Speed Limit

Why don’t Ferraris follow speed limits?

Because even their GPS says, “Recalculating… you’re too fast for this road!”

Basketball

Q: Why don’t fish play basketball?

A: Because they’re afraid of the net!

What Taste

“What do snails taste like?”
“I don’t know! Why do you ask?”
“Because you just ate one that was in the salad!”

Illness

“Why did Roger leave his job?”
“Illness.”
“Anything serious?”
“Yes. The boss got sick of him.”

Math

During math class, Little Johnny is very bored, so the teacher interrupts him and asks: “Little Johnny, if you have 5 apples in one hand and 4 apples in the other hand, what do you have?”

Little Johnny thinks about it and answers: “Big hands, Mrs. Teacher!”

A Gym Time Promise

Man:
Sweetheart, I’m going to the gym. Please remember to water the plants.

Woman:
Okay, just don’t go growing any muscles on someone else’s turf!

Business Trip Caution

Man:
Honey, I’m off on a business trip. Please, take good care of the child.
Woman:
Alright, and you make sure you don’t get a child!

The Never-Ending Shopping Writer’s Woe

A hilarious Collection of Jokes

Check out the best jokes on FunnyJokes.net—they’ll have you smiling over and over again! Whether you need to whip up some airy jokes for the dining room table or some dusty dad jokes, we’re listing everything you could wish for. You and your mates will have a chuckle at all times as we have enough jokes for each context. We just have the best jokes that will make sure you laugh your head off, and we expand our library of jokes every day. Even if you’ve already discovered everything, we’re always updating our content with new jokes!

Funny Comic

Funny Comic Strips

Joke of the day:

Got Any Bread?

A duck walks into a bar and says ” Got any bread?”
And the barman says “No”
The next day the duck returns and says “Got any bread?”
And the barman, “No!”.
The following day the duck returns and says “Got any bread?”
“I told you yesterday, N-O NO!”
The next day the duck returns and says “Got any bread?”
“For cryin’ out loud – N-O spells NO and I mean NO! !”
The day after the duck returns and says “Got any bread?”
“Look, if you ask me one more damn time if I’ve got any bread,
I’m going to nail your damn beak to the damn bar!!”
The next day the duck returns and says “Got any nails?”
“No!”
“Got any bread?

Hilarious Shorts

Featured: Original Jokes by Fred Stoller

Top Jokes