Veterans Day Jokes

Beating of his life

Mr. George beats ten armies while in his dream. Alas! He saw them on the street the following morning; they recognized him and give him a thorough beating of his life.

Why did you choose to shoot less on battlefields?

“Why did you choose to shoot less on battlefields?”
I smiled and said, “Our captain charge $30 per bullet missing the targets (enemy) perhaps I only managed to save $30 this year”

Why the sailors can’t play cards?

In a middle of a movie, Vincent asked Felix why the sailors can’t play cards. I answered, “Their captain was sitting on the deck”.

What will you do?

Because Dave’s late Uncle is a soldier, so he dreamt to be a soldier. This annoys Dave’s dad and made him ask Dave, “Imagine you are in a camp surrounded by enemies and you are sleeping with C4 (bombs) around you, what will you do?”

Dave answered and said, “I will stop imagining instantly”.

What compliment did you think were given to soldiers with excellent performance?

My Dad, who was a retired soldier, asks me, “What compliment did you think were given to soldiers with excellent performance?”

I could remember vividly we have A1, B2, B3, C4, C5, C6, D7, F9 while in school but they only got to have only C4 in the military so I answered and said, “C4”.

Reject

An Army officer who always took a bribe and got dismissed yesterday was asked to say what ARMY stands for. But to everyone’s surprise, this man said, “Air(Force) Rejected Me Yesterday”.

Cool breeze

A new soldier joining the troops today stopped the propeller halfway thinking it causes the cool breeze which is too much for everyone.

Toy soldiers

John’s Father brought home new soldiers but they can’t fight, why? “They were all toy soldiers”

March

My uncle won’t be happy when it is next month but my friend didn’t understand me so I said, “All troops hate it as well because it will be March”.

How many guns do you need for a gunfight?

A General asks his comrades “how many guns do you need for a gunfight?”

“Two”, comrades replied.

“Why two?” the general asked. “One gun for us to shoot at enemies and another gun for our enemy to shoot back at us”

You Might Be A Vampire If… Why did you choose to shoot less on battlefields?

Beating of his life

Mr. George beats ten armies while in his dream. Alas! He saw them on the street the following morning; they recognized him and give him a thorough beating of his life.

Why did you choose to shoot less on battlefie...

“Why did you choose to shoot less on battlefields?”
I smiled and said, “Our captain charge $30 per bullet missing the targets (enemy) perhaps I only managed to save $30 this year”

Why the sailors can’t play cards?

In a middle of a movie, Vincent asked Felix why the sailors can’t play cards. I answered, “Their captain was sitting on the deck”.

What will you do?

Because Dave’s late Uncle is a soldier, so he dreamt to be a soldier. This annoys Dave’s dad and made him ask Dave, “Imagine you are in a camp surrounded by enemies and you are sleeping with C4 (bombs) around you, what will you do?”

Dave answered and said, “I will stop imagining instantly”.

Hilarious Shorts

What compliment did you think were given to s...

My Dad, who was a retired soldier, asks me, “What compliment did you think were given to soldiers with excellent performance?”

I could remember vividly we have A1, B2, B3, C4, C5, C6, D7, F9 while in school but they only got to have only C4 in the military so I answered and said, “C4”.

Reject

An Army officer who always took a bribe and got dismissed yesterday was asked to say what ARMY stands for. But to everyone’s surprise, this man said, “Air(Force) Rejected Me Yesterday”.

Cool breeze

A new soldier joining the troops today stopped the propeller halfway thinking it causes the cool breeze which is too much for everyone.

Toy soldiers

John’s Father brought home new soldiers but they can’t fight, why? “They were all toy soldiers”

March

My uncle won’t be happy when it is next month but my friend didn’t understand me so I said, “All troops hate it as well because it will be March”.

How many guns do you need for a gunfight?

A General asks his comrades “how many guns do you need for a gunfight?”

“Two”, comrades replied.

“Why two?” the general asked. “One gun for us to shoot at enemies and another gun for our enemy to shoot back at us”

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