Tickle Your Funny Bone with Hilarious Blonde Jokes
Blonde jokes typically play on stereotypes about blondes being less intelligent or thoughtful, though it’s important to recognize these jokes can perpetuate unfair and untrue stereotypes. The humor in these jokes is often based on the blonde character misunderstanding simple concepts, making obvious mistakes, or taking things too literally. For example, a blonde might be joked about for trying to use a smartphone as a literal “smart” device that can do tasks without any input. It’s crucial, however, to approach humor with sensitivity and awareness, acknowledging that while jokes can be in good fun, they should not reinforce negative stereotypes or make anyone feel diminished. In a diverse and inclusive society, humor can be found in countless aspects of life without relying on outdated stereotypes.
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load.”
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”
When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window and, as she lowers it, he says…
“Hi, my name is Kevin. It’s winter in Minnesota, and I’m driving the salt truck!”
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. 👮
She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license, and then today you expect me to show it to you.”
A blonde named Bubbles was working on a jigsaw puzzle.
She was having a lot of trouble and becoming quite exasperated. 😟
She called to her husband, Dan, to help her.
“It’s supposed to be a tiger!” Bubbles exclaimed. 🐅
Dan looked at his wife and the puzzle and said,
“Honey, put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!” 🤦♂️
A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, ”I can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?”
Her mother replied, ”Of couse it is, dear.”
The next day, the blonde said, ”I can say the alphabet higher then anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?”
Her mother replied, ”Of course it is dear!”
The next day the blonde came home from her gymnastics and asked her mother, ”I have a larger chest then all the kids in my class, do you think its because I am a blonde?”
Her mother replied, ”No dear, I think it is because you are eighteen years old.”
Two blondes meet in Heaven. “How did you die?”, the first one asks.”Oh! I died in a freezer,” the second blonde replied.” So how did you die?” The second blonde asks, “Well, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so one day when I came home early from work, I looked all over the house, trying to look for the other woman because I saw that my husband was naked. When I coming upstairs from searching the basement, I slipped and broke my neck. I never got to find that woman,” replied the first blonde. The second blonde then says, “If only you looked in the freezer, maybe we both might still have been alive!”
An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run ten miles a day for thirty days. This, he promised, would help her lose as many as twenty pounds.
The blonde followed the doctor’s advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she had indeed lost the pesky twenty pounds. She phoned the doctor and thanked him for the wonderful advice which produced such effective results. At the end of the conversation, however, she asked one last question: “How do I get home, since I am now 300 miles away?
Two blondes were on holiday in Navajo country and they drove through a small township called ‘Chihanchako’.
The one blonde turned to the other and said, “Gee how do ya pronounce that?” 15 The other one shrugged and said, “Maybe we can ask when we stop for lunch.”
So in the small township they stopped and walked into a fast food place where the first blonde said, “Excuse me but how do ya pronounce this place we’re in?”
The blonde girl behind the counter looked them both up and down, rolled her eyes, and said slowly “B-U-R-G-E-R- K-I-N-G”
A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him, and says, “Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The man says back to the blind man, “Look buddy, I’m blonde. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler and he is blonde. The bouncer is blonde. The man sitting over to your left is also blonde. Still wanna tell that blonde joke?”
The blind man is silent for a moment and then says, “Nah, I wouldn’t want to have to explain it five times.”
Two Blondes were walking down the street. One noticed a compact on the sidewalk and leaned down to pick it up. She opened it, looked in the mirror and said, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar,” The second Blonde said, “let me look!” The first Blonde handed her the compact. The second Blonde looked in the mirror and said, “You dummy, it’s me!
Two blondes and a brunette are trapped on an island. The first blonde swims from the island to the mainland. The second blonde builds a boat from palm trees and rows to the mainland. The brunette, however, uses the bridge.
A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.
The blonde approached and asked if she was all right.
The girl said she was.
A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, “Would you like me to be your friend?”
The girl hesitated, then said, “Okay,” looking at the woman suspiciously.
Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, “Why are you standing here all alone?”
“Because,” the little girl said with great exasperation, “I’m the goalie!”
Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm?
A1: She drops her nail-file!
A2: Who cares?
A3: She says, “Next”.
A4: The next person in the queue taps you on the shoulder.
A5: He’s had his clothes for about 2 minutes.
A6: I mean, who really cares?
A7: The batteries have run out.
There was a competition between a team of blondes and a team of brunettes to see who could catch the most fish icefishing. Once the contest started, it was clear that the brunettes were going to win — they kept pulling out fish after fish. Soon, the blondes got worried and sent over one of their team to see what the brunettes were doing differently. A few minutes later, the blonde comes running back.
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, ”I’ve kidnapped you.”
She then wrote a note saying,”I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde.” The blonde pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, ”How could you do this to a fellow blonde?”
A pretty young blonde visiting her new doctor for the first time found herself alone in a small waiting room. She began undressing nervously, preparing herself for the upcoming examination. Just as she draped the last of her garments over the back of a chair, a light rap sounded on the door and a young doctor strode in.
Coming to an abrupt halt, the doctor looked his nude patient up and down carefully and with considerable appreciation.
“Miss Smith,” he said finally, “it seems quite obvious to me that until today you have never undergone an eye examination.”
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?”
To which she replied, “There certainly is!”
My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!”
