Breaking news: Luka Doncic is leaving the Mavs to join the Lakers! Turns out he heard all the Hollywood stars come with unlimited TikTok filters and free appearances in Space Jam sequels. But apparently, the only thing hotter than Texas summers is L.A.’s spotlight. Guess Luka just traded Big D for Big Hollywood… hopefully LeBron lets him have the ball once in a while.
A guy was sitting at the Super Bowl in the very best seat available. The guy on his left noticed there was an empty seat next to him and said, “Can you believe someone actually paid for that seat and didn’t come to the game?”
The fellow next to him replied, “Actually that’s my wife’s seat…we bought these tickets months ago. Unfortunately, my wife passed away so I came alone.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, but why didn’t you give the ticket to a family member or friend?”
“Oh, they’re all at the funeral.” 🏈🏈🏈
Q: Why did the football team go to the bank?
A: To get their quarterback! 🏈💰😄
This man had decided to spend some time in this new and fancy resort which advertised an all inclusive do all you can kind of sejour. So he shows up at the desk , gets his key and goes to his room. Looking thru the hotel’s book he finds there are tennis courts on the premises so he calls the desk to find out how to go about playing a set or two. “Just meet the pro at the tennis shop, he will lend you all that you need and will find you someone to play with.” answered a very polite clerk. “How much is that going to cost me” the man asks So the man goes to the shop, plays tennis all afternoon. When he is done he asks the pro how much he owed. “Nothing, this is on the room.” The next day he decided to try horse backriding and again found it did not cost him a penny more than the price of the room. After a week there he had done just about everything that was available except golf. On his last day he decided to play a round so he goes to the club house, gets what he needs and starts his games. When he came back to the shop the pro asked him how the game had gone. “Not so good” the man answers, “in fact I lost 5 balls.” “Well” says the pro, “that will be $5000.00 sir.” “What do you mean $5000.00, for 5 lousy golf balls? You have to be kidding. I played an afternoon of tennis, went horse riding, scuba diving, deep sea fishing and more and was never charged a cent, and now that I have lost 5 balls you charge me $5000.00 ?” “Well” the pro says “you know, this hotel really gets you by the balls.”
Q. How do baseball players stay cool?
A. Sit next to their fans.
A rookie pitcher was struggling at the mound, so the catcher walked up to have a talk with him.
“I’ve figured out your problem,” he told the young southpaw. “You always lose control at the same point in every game.”
“When is that?”
“Right after the National Anthem.”
There were three NASCAR fans on their way to a race, when they see an accident on the side of the road so they pull over! They go to help the victim, but they realize she is naked, so they take off their hats. The first guy was a Earnhardt fan, and put his hat over her left breast. The second guy was a Elliot fan, and put it over her right breast!! The last guy was a Gordon fan, and put his hat over her crotch.
When the police arrived, the officer looks at the girl and goes to evaluate. He first picks up the Earnhardt hat, puts it back down and writes something down. He does the same with the Elliot hat. Then he picks up the Gordon hat and puts it down then picks it up again. He does this several times until the Gordon fan says, “What are you? Some kind of pervert?”
The officer replies, “No, I just usually find an asshole under one of these hats.”
