Tickle Your Funny Bone with Hilarious Blonde Jokes
Blonde jokes typically play on stereotypes about blondes being less intelligent or thoughtful, though it’s important to recognize these jokes can perpetuate unfair and untrue stereotypes. The humor in these jokes is often based on the blonde character misunderstanding simple concepts, making obvious mistakes, or taking things too literally. For example, a blonde might be joked about for trying to use a smartphone as a literal “smart” device that can do tasks without any input. It’s crucial, however, to approach humor with sensitivity and awareness, acknowledging that while jokes can be in good fun, they should not reinforce negative stereotypes or make anyone feel diminished. In a diverse and inclusive society, humor can be found in countless aspects of life without relying on outdated stereotypes.
As a trucker stops for a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load.”
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they’ve never spoken, the blonde says brightly, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street.
At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says, “Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!”
When the light turns green, the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on her window and, as she lowers it, he says…
“Hi, my name is Kevin. It’s winter in Minnesota, and I’m driving the salt truck!”
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. 👮
She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license, and then today you expect me to show it to you.”
A blonde named Bubbles was working on a jigsaw puzzle.
She was having a lot of trouble and becoming quite exasperated. 😟
She called to her husband, Dan, to help her.
“It’s supposed to be a tiger!” Bubbles exclaimed. 🐅
Dan looked at his wife and the puzzle and said,
“Honey, put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!” 🤦♂️
A blonde came home from school one day and said to her mom, ”I can count higher then all the kids in my second grade class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?”
Her mother replied, ”Of couse it is, dear.”
The next day, the blonde said, ”I can say the alphabet higher then anyone in my class, do you think it is because I am a blonde?”
Her mother replied, ”Of course it is dear!”
The next day the blonde came home from her gymnastics and asked her mother, ”I have a larger chest then all the kids in my class, do you think its because I am a blonde?”
Her mother replied, ”No dear, I think it is because you are eighteen years old.”
Two blondes meet in Heaven. “How did you die?”, the first one asks.”Oh! I died in a freezer,” the second blonde replied.” So how did you die?” The second blonde asks, “Well, I suspected my husband was having an affair, so one day when I came home early from work, I looked all over the house, trying to look for the other woman because I saw that my husband was naked. When I coming upstairs from searching the basement, I slipped and broke my neck. I never got to find that woman,” replied the first blonde. The second blonde then says, “If only you looked in the freezer, maybe we both might still have been alive!”
A blonde got lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembered what her dad had once told her. ”If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it.” Pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. She explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in the snow, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, ”Well, I’m done with the parking lot here at Wal-Mart, now you can follow me over to K-Mart.”
There are two blondes playing golf. One tees off and hits a man as he’s walking to the next hole. He immediately clasps his hands over his crotch and falls to his knees in pain.
The two blondes run over and ask him if he is all right. He says that he is fine, but the blondes insist on helping him. They unzip his pants and begin to massage his crotch.
After a while one blonde asks if it feels better, and he says, “That felt good, but my hand still hurts like crazy!”
There was a blonde driving down the road one day. She glanced to her right and noticed another blonde sitting in a nearby field. She was in a boat rowing, with no water in sight. The blonde angrily pulled her car over and yelled at the rowing blonde, What do you think you’re doing? It’s things like this that give us blondes a bad name. If I could swim, I’d come out there and kick your butt!
A guy goes online looking for brains. He sees a red head brain for $2,000, a brunette brain for $1,000, and a blonde brain for $6,000.
The guy asks his friend why the blonde brain is so much and his friend said, “Because it’s never been used.”
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn’t want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her. After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.
The manager said, “I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!”
The silver haired lady confronted her doctor with a complaint of pains all over her body.
“Be more precise,” he said. “So I can help you, try pointing to some of the places that hurt.
The silver-haired doll put her finger on her arm and said, “Ouch!” then her finger to her hip and said, “Ouch!” and then to her rib cage and said, “Ouch!” again.
The doctor stopped her and asked, “Were you a blonde before your hair grayed”?
“Why yes!” she said excitedly, “But how did you know?”
The Doc answered, “Your finger’s broken.”
A blonde, redhead, and brunette were looking at a dictionary for the hardest words they knew. The brunette’s word was quizzical. The redhead’s word was photosynthesis. The blonde’s word was dick.
One day while on patrol a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde the works. “I’ve pulled you over for speeding ma’me…..could I see your drivers license…? “…Whats a license…???” replied the blonde. instantly giving away the fact that she was as a stump. Its usually in your wallet…
replied the officer. After fumbling for a few minutes the driver managed to find it. Now may I see your registration!!! Asked the cop. Registration….whats that…?asked the blonde. Its usually in your glove compartment said the cop impatiently after some more fumbling she found the
registration. Ill be back in a minute.. the cop said and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the womans license and registration. After a few moments the dispatcher came back. Ummm is this woman driving a red sports car. Yes….Replied the officer. Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde? asked the dispatcher. Uh…Yes replied the cop. Heres what you do…..said the dispatcher.Give her stuff back and drop your pants. WHAT!!!?Icant do that. Its ……..inappropriate..exclaimed the cop. Trust me….Just do it..said the dispatcher. So the cop goes back to the car gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said. The blonde looks down and sighs….. Ohh no……not ANOTHER breathalyzer….
There were three blondes living together. Blonde #1 was coming back from grocery shopping, and she dropped her keys. She walked down the stairs to get them, and she said to herself, ”Am I going up the stairs or down the stairs?” So, she stood there puzzled, the bags of groceries still in her hands.
Blonde #2 was taking a bath, and was draining the tub because it was too cold. With her hair still dry, she said to herself, ”Was I getting in the tub or out of the tub?” She stood there, just thinking about it.
Blonde #3 was sitting in the living room in front of the coffee table, and she said to herself, ”Knock on wood I’m not as stupid as the other two!” She knocked the table. ”Was that the front door or the back door?”
Three blondes have just finished a jigsaw-puzzle so they decide to celebrate by going out. They walk into a bar chanting, “61 days 61 days!” The bartender gets curious and walks over to them and asks, “Why are you chanting 61 days?”
One of the three answer, “Because the box said 3-6 years!”
