During math class, Little Johnny is very bored, so the teacher interrupts him and asks: “Little Johnny, if you have 5 apples in one hand and 4 apples in the other hand, what do you have?”
Little Johnny thinks about it and answers: “Big hands, Mrs. Teacher!”
Man:
Sweetheart, I’m going to the gym. Please remember to water the plants.
Woman:
Okay, just don’t go growing any muscles on someone else’s turf!
Man:
Honey, I’m off on a business trip. Please, take good care of the child.
Woman:
Alright, and you make sure you don’t get a child!
A duck walks into a bar and says ” Got any bread?”
And the barman says “No”
The next day the duck returns and says “Got any bread?”
And the barman, “No!”.
The following day the duck returns and says “Got any bread?”
“I told you yesterday, N-O NO!”
The next day the duck returns and says “Got any bread?”
“For cryin’ out loud – N-O spells NO and I mean NO! !”
The day after the duck returns and says “Got any bread?”
“Look, if you ask me one more damn time if I’ve got any bread,
I’m going to nail your damn beak to the damn bar!!”
The next day the duck returns and says “”Got any nails?”
“No!”
“Got any bread?
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