Thanksgiving Jokes

Running Turkey

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Q: What do you call a running turkey?
A: Fast food!

Cornucopia Comedy

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Q: Why did the cranberries turn red?
A: Because they saw the turkey dressing!

Feast Funnies

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Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey?
A: They suspected it of fowl play!

Pumpkin Pie Puns

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Q: What’s the best thing to put into a pumpkin pie?
A: Your teeth!

Cranberry Chuckles

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Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with a banjo?
A: A turkey that can pluck itself!

Pilgrim Puns

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Q: Why did the Pilgrims’ pants always fall down?
A: Because their belt buckles were on their hats!

Chatter of the Turkeys

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Q: What did the turkey say to the computer?
A: “Google, google, google!”

Football Frenzy

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Why don’t football players go to the Thanksgiving dinner?

Because they’re afraid of getting stuffed!

Vegetable Variety Show

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Why did the green beans win the talent show?

Because they had the best ‘canned’ routine!

Gravy Boat Voyage

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Why did the gravy boat file a police report?

Because it got mugged on Thanksgiving Day!

Cranberry Comedy

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Why don’t cranberries go out on Black Friday?

Because they’re afraid of getting canned!

Pumpkin Pie Predicament

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Why do pies go to therapy after Thanksgiving?

Because they get a slice of life!

Turkey Talk

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Why did the turkey join a band?

Because it had the drumsticks!

What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?

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Q: What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?

A: Fangsgiving…

Thanksgiving Turkey

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One Thanksgiving a friend and I were walking down a main street in Albany when a man comes up to me and gives me a turkey and says, “Happy Thanksgiving!”

Without hesitation my friend knocks him out. I asked my friend why he punched the nice man. My friend said, “He gave you the bird!”