Vampire Jokes

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You open a Bloodbucks cafe to serve the vampire community

You Might Be A Vampire If…

On Halloween you get mad at people for dressing up in vampire costumes pretending to be someone they are not

You Might Be A Vampire If…

On Halloween you sleep waiting for Dracula to come down the chimney to bring you lots of humans

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You start a neck-biting range for vampires to practice their aim

Hilarious Shorts

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You refuse to date anyone named Buffy

You Might Be A Vampire If…

Your idea of a scary movie is watching humans kill the last vampire on earth

You Might Be A Vampire If…

Your worse nightmare is waking up to a world without humans

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You look at blood the way party-goers look at beer

You Might Be A Vampire If…

During winter you are careful not to select people who are too cold to avoid frostbite

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You consider coming out of the closet as a vampire at a Twilight premier party

You Might Be A Vampire If…

Your class looks to you for ideas on how to dress and act like a vampire

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You own a bar that requires a blood sample instead of ID to enter

You Might Be A Vampire If…

Someone mentions the word ‘vessel’ and you immediately think of ‘blood vessels’

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You notice you can outrun a cheetah

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You look at people the same way they look at a buffet

You Might Be A Vampire If…

Your friends bring humans as gifts to your birthday party

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You grew up receiving gifts on Halloween instead of Christmas

You Might Be A Vampire If…

Your party friends look to you to be the designated bottle opener

You Might Be A Vampire If…

As a kid you knew more about Count Dracula than you did the Count on Sesame Street

You Might Be A Vampire If…

Halloween is the only day of the year you feel you can be yourself

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You like a good Bloody Mary from concentrate

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You are surprised that you can’t make withdrawals at a blood bank

You Might Be A Vampire If…

Your parents wanted you to own a blood bank when you grew up

You Might Be A Vampire If…

The first thing you think of when you meet people is what blood type they are

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You recently joined Bloodaholics Anonymous

You Might Be A Vampire If…

The only bank you want to rob is a blood bank

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You are surprised that you can’t make withdrawals at a blood bank

You Might Be A Vampire If…

Your parents wanted you to own a blood bank when you grew up

You Might Be A Vampire If…

The first thing you think of when you meet people is what blood type they are

You Might Be A Vampire If…

You recently joined Bloodaholics Anonymous

Top Jokes